In exactly 7 hours i'm going to be on the plane, bound for Hangzhou again. Can't describe how that feeling is just thinking about it. Anxiety, excitement... mostly a sense of dread and loss.
I probably won't be back in singapore for a long time and HZ is going to be my new "home" for now.
I took a drive out alone tonight, just around my neighbourhood. My favourite radio station blasting out, the familiar roads and seemingly permanent roadworks, that comfortable feeling of knowing exactly where everything is, how things work and how i know i have to start all over again while i'm in China.
I wonder how everything and everyone will change a year from now. I wonder how I will change a year from now. Will i miss Hangzhou and feel like an "alien" back in singapore when its time to come back? Where will i go next? Everybody is moving on. Friends have found new jobs, some about to get hitched and others having kids. I won't be here for my granddad -a sweet but grumpy old man who is getting older and seemingly more fragile by the day. I won't be here for my pals to hear about their joys, sorrows or just indulge in some good old bitchin and whining. I won't be here to teach my mum how to use MS Excel.
Some of my closest friends are scattered all over the world and i was lucky to meet one back here this time. I'm going to quote her words because i can't find anything more apt.
is home where your family is? where your friends are? or just somewhere you feel comfortable in? maybe i'll feel the best in the air. like im supposed to be there. supposed to be heading somewhere. where? should i come or should i go?
1 comment:
hang in there. i know i'll buy you a g&t soon. maybe i'll go look for you soon. u never know. and u can bring me to buy fake-ies. *winks
you are strong and i know you will absolutely succeed in china. just dun forget me when you get your first million.
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